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        You've most probably heard of the best selling book with the catchy title "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck", well, I did, the title was so interesting, I immediately started reading the book(well, actually listening to the audiobook, it's easier!). This book isn't about stopping to give a fuck about anything in life, it will actally help you think a little more clearly about what you're choosing to find important in life in order to live without having the problem of worrying.

Here are my biggest takeaways from it:


The do something Principle

            Mark Manson talks here about a novelist who had written over 70 novels, he was asked how he could write so consistently and remain motivated and his reply was "200 crappy words per day" and more often than not the act of writing will inspire him and he'd write thousands of words in one session. The idea here is, if you want to do something then just start it. Decide that all you're going to be doing is a small part of the actual task, you'll most likely end up doing much more than that.


Typical Success measurement 

            Measuring your success at something using the "normal" metric : the author gives the example of him being worried he's not really successful as a brother because of how unfrequent they'd exchange texts. He realized here that he measured his success as a brother based on the frequency of contact which shows how close they are. If they're not close enough then that's a failure as a brother because family is supposed to be the closest thing. How close is successful? That's decided by comparing oneself using that metric against other people he knows.

In other words, success here is measured relative to other people or to a certain person. So, in order to live more satisfied you better re-think about the metric you're choosing and never make your measurement relative to anyone else.


Never deny negative emotions 

            "Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and to emotional dysfunction", the constant positivity is not a solution to problems, it's just avoiding the problem until it's impossible to, so instead of facing the problem once it appears, the person pretends to forget about it until problems start accumulating and instead of having to face one, now they have to face a dozen.

You are always Choosing 

            If you are unhappy with your current situation in life, you most likely feel like some part of it is outside of your control, that you can't solve the problem you're facing. When we feel like we're choosing our problems, we feel empowered , but when we don't, we feel like a victim. Mark Manson here uses the example of running a marathon because someone threatened to kill your family if you don't, and running a marathon that you chose. You'd feel the same pain in your legs, but in the second case it'd feel like an accomplishment.

        

                        Thank you for reading! If you're intereted in self help books, here are four other books that I think are the best of this type.